Exploring Health: 101 Challenge

I decided to gift myself health this birthday. At the best shape of my life, yet. All it took were 101 days.

Happy 27th birthday to me.

This has been the craziest year for me yet. I saw my downfall as a person. I saw myself at my second lowest point in life. I wasted half of the year. But when my eyes were opened, I made sure to make up for all the regrets. And now, I have also seen myself at my best yet, too.

I had to find my “WHY.” I was done with who I had become but did not know how to fix my mind. So, I started with the body, and the mind followed.

I wanted to be the best version of myself. But what was wrong with me? Overthinking and insecurities were the two major things that were pulling me down. What would the best version of myself be like? A secure person and someone who thinks clear. And has his priorities sorted.

I wasted a decade being insecure about my body, yet did nothing about it.

It was funny that I wanted somebody to save me from myself. I had to get myself out of my dream. I had to see the hard reality. Nobody was coming to save me. I am the hero of my movie who had to get up for a happy ending.

The discipline, consistency, obsession, and sacrifices taught me more about myself in these 101 days than anything else. They humbled me as a person.

People generally do not change. Unless they are given a solid reason to.

I will remember these 101 days. One day at a time. One dot of progress that I made every single day and night. I look at all the dots I made, and how they connected together now. It was amusing how it coincided between the two dates when I decided to change myself physically, mentally, and financially; and my 27th birthday.

How badly did I want it? I was desperate. I wanted to change because I loathed myself for who I was. People say that you should love yourself for who you are, and all these years, I could not. Self compassion, is what they say. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same care you would offer a good friend, is what people would suggest.

I wanted to be so full of life that I only give and do not want anything from somebody else.

It was not about losing a number on a scale but more about embracing and loving the things I hated about myself. I did not want my love for myself to be a currency for exchange.

It was difficult. Changing everything at once was too overwhelming. I did not want to live with the reality that I could not have everything I wanted. So, I started eliminating everything I did not want one by one.

People would ask me, “Why have you not joined a gym?” I would give excuses like it being far away or too expensive.

Nope. I was too insecure about my body and myself so I preferred exercising at home. It was much harder to stay disciplined all alone, but, worth it. I live a boring life by myself, the same breakfast, lunch and dinner. Following the same routine. I got comfortable being alone.

Those who know me well, know how much I love butter chicken. I really wanted to go to this place in San Jose. Now, I do not even remember the last time I had it. I reached a point where I am okay not having it at all.

From that one day, something just switched that I stopped craving any food.

I vividly remember this line in Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami: “I am getting rid of everything from the past so I can be reborn in the future.”

I found solace in writing and writing code.

It helped.

I wrote more in these 101 days than any other year. I shipped more in these 101 days than any other year.

I just have a lot to write, and I made sure I at least do that well. Really well.

This journey was an apology to myself, for not treating myself with care, and all the negativity and hatred for the body I have to live with all my life.

Last year and for the first half of this year, I was going everywhere but nowhere. And, now at 27, it feels like life has just begun.

My eyes are opened.

Everyone has their way they want to make an impact. For me, it is through my world of words.

I hope it inspired you to make a change for yourself, and in yourself.